I’ve got a little secret to tell you. When I shower, I touch myself all over.
Get your dirty little mind out of the gutter please, as it’s not what you think. There’s absolutely nothing sexual about the way I touch in the shower. I like to think of it as a very special tool I have learned to empower me live my most awake and connected life.
This magical practice has made so much difference to me that I want to tell you how to do it. But before I go step by step there’s one very important thing you MUST do first: you have to commit to be completely, totally, one hundred percent present.
Commit to Presence
Before you get in the shower you have to make a very strong commitment to be present. This is vital because we’ve been showering our whole lives without being aware of it. This means the most likely outcome is that you’ll get in and start washing your hair and immediately forget all about what you’re doing.
You’ll be remembering that comment your hairdresser made, and who does she think she is anyway and you’d better not forget to pick up that dress from the cleaners and omg what if your ex is at the party this weekend anyway you might just die and perhaps you should google that website that shows you have to do that new thing with your eyes… and bam, you go to turn off the faucet and realise you missed the whole shower.
This is how we generally function all day long. We’re living, but we’re not really knowing it.
Let’s be honest: how much of your day are you present for?
Why do we zone out?
This act of functioning without presence can be called dissociation. Buddhist teacher Tara Brach calls it living in “trance”. You might know it more commonly as mind-less-ness and by its opposite, mindfulness.
Whatever you call it the key is that we are missing out on all of the incredible things we could be happy about or grateful for because we’re up in our damn heads. Injury, pain and trauma (whether emotional or physical) takes our attention out of our bodies faster than anything.
In acute and severe trauma we often leave our bodies completely. You see this clearly in nature; when an antelope freezes and drops to the earth before a lion has even taken the kill, this is complete dissociation. It’s a protective mechanism so that the antelope will not consciously experience the pain of death.
****I’ve written many pieces on the nervous system and stress and you want to catch up on those here. You can also take a look at my online course Heal & Reset for a complete guide to nourishing your nervous system.****
Getting back in the body
Like the antelope, you have learned to zone out of your body so that you don’t feel pain. The flip side of this is that your are no longer available to feel as much love, kindness or joy. The process of getting your attention back into the body is vital to living a calm, connected and full life.
This shower practice is one of the most powerful tools I have found to bring myself back to my body to enjoy a calm relaxed state. It works even during the most difficult of times, and it works for people who feel they can’t formally meditate.
Honestly, it’s an absolute gift. So enough chit chat: here it is, just for you.
Touching Yourself all over
Step One: Commit: Make your commitment to be present. Tell yourself: I will be present for this entire shower, from beginning to end. When your mind inevitably drifts away, do not pass judgement. Your intention is still there, so simply bring your attention back to wherever you are and begin again.
Step Two: Get wet: Let the water fall on one body part at a time. You can simply feel the part, or you say quietly in your mind: this is my head, this is my neck, this is my shoulder etc. Concentrate. It is likely your mind will keep wandering away. That’s ok, just gently bring it back to the body. Do this until your whole body is wet.
Step Three: Lather Up: If you are washing your hair (this really enhances the experience) begin with the Shampoo. Concentrate. Stay really present as you massage your scalp. Act as if you are a hairdresser giving your head a thorough wash. Move onto soaping your body. You can either feel each part as you soap it or say lightly, this is my hand, this is my leg etc. Concentrate. Take your time. If your mind wanders bring it back. When you wash your face, touch one part at a time, nice and gently. Eyebrow, eye, nose, cheek bone, jaw.
Step Four: Rinse + Bonus Steps: Rise one body part at a time, just as you did in step 3. You could be tempted to rush and zone out here so take your time and concentrate. If you are washing your hair you’ll have an extra step. Really feel the sensation as you pull the conditioner through your hair and rinse it out. If you are shaving your legs, extra bonus!
Step Five: Towel Dry: You get to do the whole process all over again with your towel. Dry one part at a time. Notice the sensation of towel on skin. Concentrate. Take your time.
Step Six: Moisturise: Even if you don’t usually moisturise I highly recommend you start. It can seem quite luxurious at first but it’s a key part of creating a calm body. You can use oil instead, like sesame, almond or coconut. CONCENTRATE! Take your time. Do one part at a time.
Step Seven: Dress: Pull your clothes on slowly, one piece at a time. Feel the fabric against your skin and yep you guessed it, concentrate. You may like to imagine you are dressing a delicate newborn baby, taking that kind of care.
Bonus: It can be very powerful to sit quietly and feel the whole body for 5 or 10 minutes after you’ve completed the steps. If it feels comfortable close your eyes and notice the warmest most pleasant sensation in your body. Concentrate lightly, allowing the momentum of the practice to work its magic. Keep feeling the body, gently bringing your attention back as many times as it wanders away.
Repeat.
For every shower.
For the rest of your life.
Gain access to powerful exercises and meditations to get back in the body by enrolling in HEAL & RESET the online course.
