As I sat in meditation this morning I noticed my mind kept moving forward creating little stories and outcomes about things it was afraid of. This is what the mind does- it takes input from the past to prepare for the future.
Let’s say you are currently single and subconsciously lonely. The mind will move forward and create little (or big) fantasies about how you will meet someone soon and settle down and be happy. This fantasy will flood your system with feel good chemicals and you will feel safe and your body will relax.
Or let’s say you are in a relationship and you’re currently fighting. Subconsciously you’re scared of losing everything and your mind will move forward to prepare for possible outcomes. You’ll imagine how you might break up or how you’ll stay together and after working through it all in your head you will feel prepared.
This is all ok of course, and natural, but the problem is that you might miss what is actually happening right here in front of you. Like I was this morning as I sat in meditation, conjuring up a non-existent future with a warm cup of tea in my hand and the ocean roaring outside my window.
“you might miss what is actually happening right here in front of you”
I woke up to what was happening, saw my mind had moved out of the present reality and into fantasy. I brought myself back, resting in the heaviness of my butt against the cushion. ‘It is safe here’, I reminded myself, ‘right now, there’s nothing to prepare for’.
We each have a nervous system designed for survival. Our limbic brain is forever scanning, taking in information and using this input from the past to prepare us for what is coming. It’s brilliant. A complex, intricate miracle that has kept us alive from the beginning of time. We use the information gathered from experience to chase what is pleasant or good and move away from what is unpleasant or bad. This system is what has ensured our very evolution.
The more unpleasant or scary your past has been and the more pain you have felt, the greater the vigilance of your nervous system. It will be difficult to relax and to stay present. Trauma keeps us out of our body because we are so busy using our mind to stay on high alert, ready to avoid the next inevitable assault. When we have seen (or felt) a lot of suffering then being right here in the body for something as simple as the breath may seem impossible.
“Trauma keeps us out of our body”
To come back, to inhabit the present fully, is to relax. To relax is to feel peace. It is simple. In fact, it is so simple that we don’t even see it as the way. Our brains are too complex and wild to easily recognise the truth: that to arrive in contentment is to take one single breath and know you are taking it. As a species we see change as something big. A dramatic commitment or a giant overhaul. But it is the minor unseen act of coming back to the body a thousand times a day that makes the difference.
Sometimes it is about creating a space that is worth coming back to. A welcoming space. Like this morning, as I placed one hand on my belly and one hand on my heart and whispered, ‘I love you,” over and over again. When you don’t want to come back to the body it is usually because you can’t bear to feel what is happening there: self loathing and hatred, regret or despair. You may think, if I open to what is here it will be too much. Or, if I turn to my sadness how will it ever end? You may think, better to leave this anguish buried. But I promise you, you will not weep forever.
“When you don’t want to come back it is usually because you can’t bear to feel what is happening”
When I am saying I love you it is not to the surface level me. Not to the one with long blonde hair and a surfer’s body. Or to the yogi in cute leggings either. It is to the scared animal body who is just like every other suffering body. To the eternal soul that is just like every other soul, the one that aches for wakefulness. It is to the one we bow to when we say namaste, recognising the divine in each other.
When I say I love you I am letting my being know that it is safe to be here. That there is nothing to prepare for right now. There is just the brilliant moment I was missing because I was in fantasy. All kinds of things are happening yet none of them need my readiness. There is the ocean roaring and the distant sound of guests laughing and if I listen closely I can even notice that there are still light drops of rain falling on grasses and trees. There is the beating of my miraculous heart.
It’s the tiny choices we make in each moment that sway our life. It is bringing the attention back over and over again that will transform you. You can’t wake up just because you decide to once. You have to decide, again and again, committed to each new brilliant moment. Peace is about trusting that each moment is sacred. About letting go of preparing for the worst. About trusting that if and when the worst comes that moment will be sacred too.
“Peace is about trusting that each moment is sacred”.
You just keep coming back. As many times as you drift away, you come back. It is simple, but it is not easy. Feel whatever there is. Let go as best you can of being ready for a moment that doesn’t exist. Come back to the breath. Come back to the body. Come back, come back, come back.
Still confused about how to come back? Want to know more about getting out of the head and into the body? Awesome: I recently transformed my most popular workshop into an online course called HEAL & RESET and it is designed to bring you the peace you deserve. Find out more or enrol right here.
