Reality check: We suffer, moment to moment, day to day. In big ways, in small ways, in ways we take for granted or don’t even notice. Our very existence seems to be ripe with contraction, resistance, and dissatisfaction.
The Wise Heart
It was suffering that drove me to pick up a buddhist book, some ten years ago, by Jack Kornfield called the Wise Heart. At the time I was a Firefighter Paramedic struggling with seeing awful terrible things at work, and having my own struggles too. I wondered, secretly, if I would ever be happy.
As I read the Wise Heart and came upon the teaching of Dukkha and of the Four Noble Truths (we’ll go over those in a minute) I felt one simple emotion: relief. This dissatisfaction wasn’t just happening to me: it was happening to everyone. You could almost say it was supposed to. Because according to this “Buddha” person, dukkha was the nature of life.
What does Dukkha mean?
Dukkha is a Pali word, and it is most commonly translated into suffering. But Pali is an ancient and complex language that does not transfer easily into English, so it can also mean uneasiness, dissatisfaction, disharmony, or anguish. Recently, I read a more literal translation in Analayo’s brilliant book Sathhipatthana: where he says that the word means “an axle not fitting properly into a wheel”.
Just not quite right.
Have you experienced this in your life? This feeling of nothing ever being quite right? Nothing ever being exactly good enough? Maybe at first, like me, your job was satisfying, your co-workers pleasant, your new husband a treasure, and your home perfect. And then somehow, they become just not right again.
Tell me. Are you ever fully satisfied?
You see, as humans, there is one common thread that binds us together, and it is dukkha. It’s heartbreaking. Disheartening. And at times, despair-inducing. And then, if we’re willing, if we’re brave enough to take a full-on up-close look at suffering: it’s liberating.
So, let’s take a look.
The Four Noble Truth’s.
When the Buddha first awakened he began to teach the Four Noble Truth’s. There are other ways to translate them: but I like this version as it’s simple.
1. To be born into this world is to experience Dukkha
2. Dukkha is caused by clinging (and identification)
3. There is freedom from Dukkha
4. The way to freedom is through the Noble Eightfold Path
For this post we’re simply going to stay with one and two: that we do suffer, and why that is so. Stick with me here, cos your mind is about to get blown.
Mind blowing reality check
Here’s the deal: this whole world is arising and passing phenomena. For example: a sound arises. It stays for a while, and then it ends. The Buddha taught that human suffering is because we pull-in (cling) to what is pleasant, and push-away what is unpleasant. This is called clinging and aversion. And, so we can really suffer, we attach an “I” to our experience.
Let’s say you’re sitting in meditation in one of my workshops and I ask you to focus on sound.
I ring a beautiful bell. You hear it arise, you hear it stay, and you hear it end. You may think, “ah, I’m having such a lovely meditation”. If the bells keep ringing you might be able to sit there for ages and at the end you’d probably think you did a great job.
But I don’t keep ringing bells. In fact, I purposely start making annoying noises, like coughing, banging my hand against the door, and then I drop something on the floor. You may think, “OMG what’s all that distracting racquet?” If the awful noises kept going, you would start to think you’re a terrible meditator because you can’t stay focused with all the noise and you’d want to stop and get up.
What really happened
All that happened in the first scenario is that pleasant sound arose and passed away. All that happened in the second part was that unpleasant sound arose and passed away.
With the pleasant sound, you involved yourself, thinking you were doing a great job. You took credit for the arising and passing phenomena. When the unpleasant sound arose you pushed it away. Then, you took it personally: I’m not good at this.
All day long, we’re clinging on to the “pleasant” and contracting from the “unpleasant”. We make hundreds of stories about who we are around our experience. This “I” ing is a great source of suffering as we miss the simplicity of what is happening in each moment. The Buddha also taught that when a sensation is neutral, we tend to drift away. Again, there’s a lot more to it than that, but I’m trying to keep it simple.
Business class suffering
I’ll leave you with an example to ponder. This week I flew to Thailand. The airline had us enter through business class. We walked past the wide leather seats with well dressed men and women sipping champagne and looking extra cosy. I longed for that comfort, that happiness. Desire arose, almost instantaneously I noted, “Clinging”. Layers of identification arose on top “I am not there yet,” “I suck at business,” “I’ve failed myself,” “I need that to be successful,” “Those people are better than me”.
I, I, I, me.
“I” takes us out of the moment and into story.
Can you feel it? The suffering, the dissatisfaction? I found my seat, nestled into the window and sat with the moment as it simply was. If I could let go of the desire, I would be free to explore the wonder of what was actually around me: a huge plane about to fly me to the other side of the world! I would realise that I was comfortable right where I was. That this moment was enough, as it was.
The way to freedom
Maybe some day I would be in Business Class. Maybe I wouldn’t. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is seeing (loving?) this moment, right now, as it is.
When you think that everything is going great in your life, it’s really just because lot’s of pleasant phenomena is occurring. And when it’s all going wrong, it’s because it’s unpleasant. Real freedom is to be able to stand in the middle of it all, the inevitable up’s and down’s of life, unwavering.
There is a path that shows you the way to freedom and it’s called the Noble Eightfold Path. It’s the reason I was able to notice, in the moment, that I was clinging.
Go to The End of Suffering: the Noble Eightfold Path
