Many years ago, when I was on a silent retreat, one of my fave meditation teacher’s said, “Emotions are thoughts moving through the body”.
It makes sense: Sad thoughts equal the blues, happy thoughts equal joy.
And Fearful thoughts manifest in the body as stress, anxiety or tension.
They’re just thoughts, right? But they’re slippery little bastards that create actual physical experiences in the body. They can keep us stressed for days, weeks or months on end. And as long as we stay up there in our heads, thinking those scary thoughts, we’ll stay in the cycle.
The fastest way out of the cycle is to get out of the thought stream, in other words, to get into the body.
When I get stressed, (which feels like all the f**King time right now) my step one is to sit quietly and admit,
“Im f**king scared”.
Usually that admission comes with a few tears, and the release of whatever part of my body is holding the tension; like my jaw, shoulders or chest. Sometimes the process results in a little bit of a meltdown, or an hour or so of lying in bed with the covers over my head (hey I’m only human). But it has been this repeated fess-ing up to fear that has helped wisdom, compassion and understanding to flow (and thats worth an hour or two in bed, is it not)?
Step two is to do something about it, ie. Get out of the head. In simple words, this means bringing your attention into the present (over and over and over again) through the five senses of the body: sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.
There are many ways to do this, but I wanted to share with you my five favourites:
- BREATHE: you’re always breathing, but how many times do you know it? This stealthy trick can be done anywhere, anytime, even mid conversation with Aunt Jemima, or your dickhead boss Bill. Take three big, long breaths, and know you’re doing it. Repeat, as necessary
- FEEL YOUR FEET: You might need to close your eyes at first for this one, but once you’re a seasoned pro you can be feeling the sensations and aliveness in the soles of the feet even when your boyfriend is telling you he is not into monogamy. You can do this for as long or short as you want. You can do it in the garden, at home, or at your desk every hour or so during a work day. Repeat, when necessary.
- THE EYE EXPANSE: Rub the palms of your hands together nice and fast for about 10 to 20 seconds. Feel the heat rise. Place them over your closed eyes and get a sense for the endless expanse in the darkness. Its like a whole universe in there. Repeat, when necessary. Don’t be surprised if your friends at the dinner table ask if you’re ok.
- BELLY BREATHING: Take one hand to your heart and one to your belly. Feel the breath rise and fall into the hands for about a minute. For most people that’s 8-12 breaths. If you’re really stressed, it could be 20. Take notice if your desire to have a shredded stomach is keeping your belly held in. (p.s. It’s not worth it.) Slow, deep belly breathing will chill you out every time, I promise. Repeat, a lot.
- SOUND: Close your eyes and listen to the sounds you can hear around you. First, search out the most distant sounds you can hear and stay there for a bit. Then listen to ones closer to you, like in your building or room. Then zoom in as close as you can, maybe even finding your own breath. Zoom back out, then back in. Repeat as needed.
Fear is inevitable, and its all part of living an awakened, high risk life. If you want to go places, accomplish things, or simply become the best version of yourself you know you can be, then things are bound to get a little scary.
It’s ok.
Life falls apart. Men decide they don’t love you. The business plan falls short.
You went for it anyway, right? Good for you!
When it all gets hard, don’t give up. Just stay in the body, breathe, listen, and feel your feet.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO EXPERIENCE GROUNDING INTO THE BODY
TO ALLEVIATE ANXIETY AND STRESS
COME TO MY YIN & YOGA NIDRA WORKSHOP
THIS SUNDAY, 4TH FEB 8-10AM.
BOOK IN HERE
