You can never really know what’s coming up ahead.
Only one year ago I had honestly began to believe that I might be single forever. I thought things like, ‘maybe relationships aren’t for me’, and ‘maybe I’m too damaged from my parents childhood divorce’. I wondered if I was too selfish, too ungrateful, too picky. And yet none of that was true.
Being single was just how life was. Then, in an instant, life changed.
When I first sat down across from Glen I knew that he was special. There was something in his deep brown eyes that intrigued me. Within three weeks we were overwhelmed with the mystery of how we could know each other so well. He told me he’d been the kind of guy that could never say “I love you”, that he’d never believed in getting married, and that he’d been in therapy to figure out why at the age of 40, he was always “one-foot-out”.
He told me this, and then told me that already, he loved me.
I began to keep a diary of each days events, as our love was unfolding so rapidly that I felt I needed something tangible to keep track. Now, a mere six months later, I feel like I have known him for years. This is the most stable, simple, kind, no-drama, relationship I have ever experienced- except perhaps for the one I had with my beloved dog Bobo!
On New Years Eve we rode our bikes up Mystic Mountain. As we began the ascent, deep thunder rolled above us as lightning slashed across the sky. The trails were eerily empty as rain began to fall through the majestic pines.
Almost to the top, we rode around a bend with a steep drop off to the right. Glen stopped to admire the view and I pulled up behind him. The pines had opened to reveal the valley floor below us and rain fell lightly against dim light.
It was one of those moments where the world stops- where thought halts and awareness merges with nature. A rare bliss filled my cells and I became overwhelmed with brilliant tears. “It’s so beautiful I’m going to cry” I said, already crying. Glen looked at me, clearly moved and scooted his bike back to mine. His eyes held my teary gaze.
And right there, right then, he asked me to be his wife.
So, you really can never know what’s coming up ahead. In the end, our ideas about controlling life are an illusion. Life is in flux. Everything is changing. We suffer because we hold on. If we can let go a little, and allow life to flow, then we find a little peace. If we let go a lot, we find a lot more peace.
If we let go completely…we are free.
If times are tough for you right now, if you feel like you can barely go on; please let hope touch your heart and trust that life is in flux, and it will not always be this way.
And if times are good, then please cherish them. Be grateful. Know that life is in flux, and it will not always be this way. Let this be the catalyst to fully embrace every moment. Tell your people that you love them. Blow off TV to catch a sunset. Do that thing you’ve always wanted to do. Live the life that’s calling to you.
Most of all, be here, in THIS moment, THIS body right now, and know that it is holy.
Wherever you are in the world,
I love you.
Love,
Kate
